Music-related events for this particular week of April 2014, and how many letters can fit in this little title box before it just cuts off words? I am wondering this as I’m typing, but it’s still letting me add words to this area as everything scrolls to the left. This is probably going to look really weird on the page, but it still has not cut off the title of this blog post. Wow. Will it end or will it just take up the entire page with a title? Still going… for real… not even kidding… this is the longest title I’ve ever tried to use on this blog. More words… stuff… things… OK. I give up.

Well, that’s a long title.

If you’re still with me at this point, there are a few things to talk about, but in reality, they may be shorter than the title of this post.

Anyway…

For the folks in the Birmingham area tomorrow (Wednesday), there is a meeting for anyone interested in volunteering to work this year’s Secret Stages festival, which will be held the first weekend of August. The meeting starts at 6 p.m. at Matthew’s Bar and Grill. More details here. (If you’re interested in volunteering, but can’t make the meeting, send a message through their Facebook page.

This Friday in Montgomery, the Sanctuary will feature the debut show by The Heavy Children (which features Adam Davila of Hail the Titans and Fall of Adam) along with a couple of other friends of mine (Hi, Joe and Eric, if you’re reading this.) They will join a lineup that also features …and the Lawyers and the Owsley Brothers. Details here.

The Sanctuary is at Jubilee Community Center, 432 S. Goldthwaite St. in downtown Montgomery. A great venue, and many thanks to Helicity Montgomery for supporting original art in the Capital City.

Also this weekend, I’ll be joining my friend Mike Slaten for a weekend of craft beer and music. We’re playing acoustic sets – Friday night at the Straight to Ale brewery and Saturday night at the Blue Pants brewery, both located in Huntsville.

*UPDATE* Just found out that BPM is playing at AlleyBAR this Friday night (which will start after the show at the Sanctuary, so you can do both!)

Oh, and also… Deftones:

“Dear customer!”

While checking my email, I glance down to see the subject line “Unpaid surcharges #2855384.” A sense of panic sets in; the room feels warmer; sweat begins to appear on my furrowed brow.

“How on earth could I have missed paying my surcharges #2855384?” I ask myself. I mean, who in their right mind could possibly miss paying surcharges (all of them, because it’s plural) #2855384?! I must be slipping these days!

I must find out more! So I open this email, which I’m sure contains a way for me to rectify this dire situation with the urgent immediacy it requires.

“Dear customer!” (hey, that’s me!) it begins, letting the lone exclamation mark convey a happier tone of the message, almost as if to say that they’d be willing to work with me, or be more understanding of my utter forgetfulness of failing to pay surcharges #2855384. It seems friendly, and that exclamation mark helps to calm my nerves.

“You have the forfeits for property tax.” Ho.Ly. Shit. I had no idea that I have the forfeits for property tax. How long have I had them? And why did they wait this long to tell me?!

“The summary is in the attached ZIP-file.” Well, that’s a relief. All I need to do is click the ol’ “download” button and get this taken care of.

“You gotta check out it before June 29th 2014. Your account number: BHN/11995.” I like that official legal notices are becoming more hip to modern lingo. It also helps me to be able to read it in a John Travolta voice. “Hey, Mista Kotta, you gotta check… out… it… you know, before some day in June.” But at least I’ve got some time. Relief.

“Otherwise you’ll receive additional punishment.” Well, shit. John Travolta’s voice doesn’t help that one as much. It’s also kind of vague…

“Yours very truly, head of Police department #155.” What a polite closing from Mr. head of Police department #155. The head of Police department #154 never gave that polite of a closing. They seemed to have gotten better PR. Good for them.

I think I’ve written something similar to this post before…