“Love is watching someone die.”
Since April 20, 2016, the date my mother was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, I knew this day was coming sooner rather than later. The ups and downs, with each doctor visit and each stage of treatment, were difficult, but love sticks around. Love means watching the deterioration happen day by day. Love is watching someone die.
When I first heard the diagnosis, I set goals. I told her I would stand by her. I told her that I would back her up in whatever her wishes were. And the main goal I set for myself was to make sure that she knew how loved she was by so many people.
I hope I succeeded.
Along with that Death Cab for Cutie song above, another that really got me was the song “Flirted With You All My Life,” originally by Vic Chesnutt but covered by David Bazan. I’m a Bazan fan, and his voice and delivery really make this song impactful, especially this part:
“And when my mom was cancer sick
She fought, but then succumb to it
And you, you made her beg for it
‘Jesus, please, I’m ready’”
I love you, Mom. And I miss you already.