Because you are reading this on the internet, it’s a safe assumption that you are not living under some deserted rock and are aware that the world is super weird and all pandemic-y right now, but alas, good people! I bring you a glimmer of hope!
OK, for real, since COVID showed up, the Cloverdale Playhouse has still been trying to make the Guitar Pull happen as best and safely as possible. The last couple or so have been livestreamed from each individual artist’s home. Of course, livestreaming has it’s own set of difficulties with quality, internet speeds, lag, etc.
So… for the event tomorrow night, it will be on their website, but it was pre-recorded yesterday in the Playhouse courtyard area. We wore masks during setup, kept our distance, and had a great time. It felt good to be back, even with the different format and our audience being the crew and a camera.
For anyone familiar with The Four Agreements, you probably know they sound easy, but are not necessarily easy to put into practice.
For me, because I place a high value on honesty and clear communication, the first – “be impeccable with your word” – and the fourth – “always do your best” – are a bit easier than the two in the middle.
“Don’t take anything personally.” “Don’t make assumptions.” Yeah… so how do those even work?
I mean, it sounds easy, but is it?
It’s in the stories we tell ourselves about the motives we assign to people for decisions they made and how they treated us.
For me, it also ties into the frustration of the unknown and the sadness and anger that many times tie into that. When you feel betrayed, but you have no way of really knowing what was going through the other person’s head. When you feel hurt, but have no way of knowing whether it was intentional or not.
“Oh, but it must’ve been!” Maybe. Maybe not. Only one person can know for sure, right?
I can’t say that I really know where I’m going with this. I started writing this earlier this week, but my mind is all over the place, and I’m trying to remind myself of these things, and I figured maybe I should try to write it out in case it helps someone else in some way.
A number of people I know seem to be struggling right now, and in order to be accountable and authentic, I admit that I haven’t been mentally top notch recently either. There has been a pattern of things over the years in which actions of others left me with a feeling of worthlessness. Luckily, it’s nothing like where I was early last year (thanks, therapy!) but it still rears its ugly head periodically.
But if I can figure out a way to not take it personally and not assume that I know what others’ thoughts or motives are, maybe I can try to narrow my focus on just trying to be the best version of me that I can be.
And if any of my mental ramblings here happen to help you, I’m glad. If not, thanks for reading this far anyway. Feel free to check out some music or film stuff while you’re here.