I don’t know what I’m doing

Hi. If you’re a regular reader or subscriber to this blog (if not, please subscribe – it’ll make my heart flutter), you’ll know that sometimes I write up blog posts just because I’m thinking about something and want to get my words out. I also tend to harp on “authenticity.” In other words, this is one of those. Or both of those? We’ll see.

Cue: stream of consciousness

There are some things going on behind the scenes at Josh Carples headquarters, which sounds fancier than “in my life.” Don’t be alarmed – although I’m total #sadboi when it comes to my solo music, and I’ve blogged a decent bit about depression over the past five-plus years, it’s actually some good things.

Not to jinx anything, but I might have good news to share at some point. (Ooh, intriguing…) That could always change, but who knows, right?

So anyway, within this vague stuff that I’m vaguely referring to, some of it is a bit scary for me. I dunno, thinking of the potential or whatever. But it might be really good.

And that brought me to hitting up the ol’ Google machine for info, where I proceeded to type “What to do when you don’t know what you’re doing?”

That does bring up some articles, some of which I read, some of which actually probably had some good things in it. It didn’t really help the specifics of my vague (sorry…) situation though.

But I’m trying to do something different, I guess. For me, anyway. Somewhat out of the ordinary. Because, really, why not?

It’s kinda scary, maybe a bit terrifying, but I’m trying to lean into it, instead of running away. I keep trying to remind myself that “surely others have been in a similar situation” and the whole “what’s the worst that could happen?” which, admittedly, is probably the worst possible thing to ask in 2020. I literally just said out loud “I don’t even want to type that” but then I thought it’d be less authentic if I left it out at this point, so maybe I should just provide an explanation. [Insert shrug emoji here.] Hashtag authenticity, amirite?

Me, not knowing what I’m doing.

But really, I have no idea what I’m doing. And that’s OK. And I guess that’s the main thing to get out of this.

Be you. Be real. Be authentic. It’s OK to not know what you’re doing. It’s even OK to not be OK. It happens.

(Yes, it’s hard for me to take my own damn advice many times, but still…)

Thanks for reading. Much love.

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Margarita. In memoriam.

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‘The Final Scene: Live at Ten’

My second album as a solo artist – The Final Scene – was released on Oct. 7, 2010. So to mark the 10th anniversary of it, I decided to record live videos of each song from the album.

The original album can be found at all digital retailers (Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon, YouTube, Bandcamp, etc.)

The live videos are all on my YouTube channel (and hey, while you’re there, hit that subscribe button!)

Here’s a link to the playlist. I’ll link them individually below.

I hope you enjoy.

Thanks for listening and supporting. Much love.

(Also, be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don’t miss a post.)

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‘Remembering Anarcha’ wins Best Long Documentary at IBFF!

Many thanks to the International Black Film Festival for awarding the “Best Long Documentary” award to Remembering Anarcha! The production team – C. DeWayne Cunningham, Royce Williams, and myself – celebrated with some Bowman Brothers bourbon, and yes, there’s a story behind that.

Part of the film was shot in Virginia. DeWayne had a previous engagement, but Royce and I took a road trip up to Fredericksburg in December 2018. While there, we decided to look for a place to grab a drink.

We Googled what was around us, and we found a distillery – the A. Smith Bowman distillery. According to Google, they were open, so we made our way over there.

We get out of the car and start walking toward the building. There were some other people heading inside as well, and we noticed that all of the people were dressed up. We, however, were not.

We walk in and look around… looks like a private event. It was. Apparently, we just crashed a corporate Christmas party.


Also, the distillery isn’t even open that late, so the info we got was wrong. But… while we couldn’t really stay, the friendly staff let us sample some stuff since we drove all the way up from Alabama. And I bought a bottle of bourbon.

I decided that it would be opened when all three of us could get together to celebrate getting into a film festival. But with COVID and life stuff and schedules, it took a little longer.

This past Sunday, however, we finally were able to get together, so we unsealed the bottle to celebrate our ‘Best Long Documentary’ win.

Thanks to everyone who has encouraged and supported us in this endeavor. We’ll let you know as soon as the film is available publicly for viewing. In the meantime, make sure to follow Remembering Anarcha on social media for updates:

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